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Promise / Practice

by Careful

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1.
Promise 03:33
you promised that you'd be here buttoned up and bright as gun steel i am holding flowers and all the world is blunted teeth is bodies all the same is sleeping, calling out your name i have so much time left melt me into oil-black seascape i have so much time left I swear to you I'll live each day like choking down a pill want you to know, but you never will I keep pulling out the driver I keep ricocheting the bullets blindly I keep arguing with timelines I held you once with unclenched teeth like everlasting good tried to tell you the truth, but I never could
2.
I had a secret but I forced it down bought a little city just to push it around lived a thousand lives but none of them were mine I had a secret but no one cares who's alive Built a rocket built a family built calliopes broke my lungs and broke my stomach all for trying things buried sickness under waking with more friends than I could keep but darkness seems to animate my hands when I'm asleep I had a secret and it felt so big shed skins in dark hotel rooms now too deep to dig too tired of this living and too scared to go outside I had a secret no one cares who's alive
3.
I don't mind 04:05
i dont mind you took the car it wasnt that important, and i want you to go far i dont mind you broke my heart I'm happy just to give you what you need for a new start didn't think it's really over didn't think I'd lost control but oh, didn't anybody tell you, this is pretty much it and oh, didn't anybody teach you to love what you get I didn't think I'd lost control like endlessly eating, never really feeling full now starting hobbies, finding friends the thing about this life is that it never really ends
4.
White light 05:03
white light, white heat, white town I never could escape from good boy, good dog, good thing I kept a secret like an ember I remember finding clothing in the woods I remember telling stories like we didn't know them come back, heal me, dig this body out big rip, big sleep, big thoughts, small revenge of never knowing me take time, take care, take me and do everything you talked about cause I can feel it but only by puppeting this wooden skin I can feel it but only like you're touching someone else's so warm me, dimly; stop the bleeding out come on, bright bird, unhinge your jaw; break me; swallow me whole and wake me, oh tough guy, tough love, tough break we are right back where we started When I'm with you it's like fingering a photograph I can feel you composing a pithy little epitaph so quit this dead place; leave me holding the skin i can't live with keeping you in
5.
All my life 04:49
all my life i sort of thought i wouldn't die, not if i made enough or did enough all my life I'll live for you, because I love you and I'm not taking you down with me
6.
I don't want to live painfully and I don't want to die young I don't wanna die alone, you see but I don't want to have to die in front of someone I love I don't want to live quietly and I don't want to live loud I don't really want a body but i need your ears to hear what's pouring out of my mouth but I don't want to keep talking because it all sounds the same don't even know when I'm lying can't see the line between a friend and a name I never want to be famous but kinda wanna be known I don't want to get close to you but I'm terrified of being alone i never want you to worry but really need you to care i am really trying to live this time I am really trying to make myself believe that I'm here
7.
Practice 01:54
i'm waiting your glossy hand is laying still I can't run I can't move you're healthy overcome with someone new I can't stay I can't go

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released September 22, 2023

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